Dumb and Dumber

Maybe I was just in a bad mood. Maybe I am making too much out of it. But yesterday I swear you could smell the stupid in my house. 

The Boy had a friend over for a little while and the entire time the two of them spent together I could feel IQ points dropping. I'm no expert on 10 year old boys, nor would I want to be. But I seriously believe these two clowns were trying to 'out dumb' one another. I tired quickly of the one upmanship-the constant need to top the other guy with yet another stupid quip that made no sense and was not the least bit funny. If these exchanges contained any dialogue that was a bit smart I'm certain feelings would be hurt and a friendship ended. But the back and forth is so mindless and truly dumb that even they aren't hurt by it. Most of it is just talking for the sake of talking. Noise for noise sake. I can be louder than you.   

Maybe this is a symptom of the times, apparently it's cool to be stupid- example Justin Bieber. 

If any 12 year old girls want to troll and make comments and threaten my life go ahead. In 5 years you'll see what a jack hole he is and laugh with your girlfriends about what asshats you were for being 'Beliebers'. Don't get me started on his dumb ass pants. 

But back to the idiots in my basement...body language,speech, terminology all changed while they were together. I may have to put my amateur scientist lab coat on and observe other subjects of the same age and see if this is an epidemic. Is it all for show? Or are these brainiacs actually 'dumbing down'? Perhaps it's brain trauma from shaking their bangs back into place? That will be a future health issue- necks damaged because of hair tossing. Mild concussions from the rapid head shaking and jerking done to make hair fall into face with out it looking like it was purposely done so.  

Did 10 year old boys of my generation act as dumb? Probably. But I was 10 too and didn't notice because I was too busy imagining being married to Indiana Jones. 

These are smart, funny, talented kids. They are athletic and articulate, interesting to talk to and very good company. So why when they are together do they regress to behavior of a spoiled 3 year old? Did I miss something here? Is it not OK to be handsome, funny and smart when you're with your friends. 

OH WAIT! then you would stand out and be noticed- I get it. Herd mentality. It's easier to put the other guy down and stay under the radar yourself. Duh mom, now who's the stupid one. I can't wait for them to be teenagers. My alcohol intake will triple. I had better get on a liver transplant list now. 

I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this is all for show. I would be embarrassed if my kid intentionally slowed his speech and responded to every question in school with a 'whatever' or an 'I know you are'. I feel sorry for the 10 year old girls that have to endure this mindless idiocy and smile and laugh and pretend to be enthralled.  

The Boy and his friend are attending a dance this weekend. Friend said the girls at the dances spend all their time in the bathroom. I didn't have the heart to tell them it's because they have to get away from all of the stupid.  

The sound of silence

Shhh...be very, very quiet. Hear that? no? well that is the sound of peace and quiet.

This is something I could get used to. I am enjoying a cup of coffee, and aside from the gentle click of my keyboard and hum of the laundry machine my house is blissfully silent.

All of this quiet got me to thinking. I am never alone. As I shuffle from room to room, gathering kids toys and dirty laundry from hampers it dawned on me. I rarely if ever have any time alone. Yes I have an hour or so before bed sometimes when spouse isn't home and kids are tucked into bed, but they are still present - in the house. I am truly not alone.

The realization here is that I am the only one I need to please at this. very. second. I am not being hounded for juice or a snack, I am not being questioned about where an item of clothing is, a favorite toy's location or what is for dinner. I am alone, and can do as I please.

A hot cup of coffee actually finished before it went cold. Chores performed with out interruption. Time to contemplate a grocery list. This all seems very small in the big scheme of things, but huge in my now stay at home mind.

I know when I signed up for this marriage and mom thing I would be giving up a lot. I'm ok with that. But now with the house silent I am coming to grips with the fact that maybe I needed some time alone. Something thinking back on my life I have never had.

Part of the journey that led me to quit work and stay at home was due to the fact that I was tired of giving. Emotionally I was spent. It was my own doing. I allowed the demands of work, home, family and community to overwhelm me. I treat others the way I expect to be treated. I don't like people to go without, I want people to experience success and I will sacrifice for them to have it. In order to do that I gained a constant line up of people vying for my attention and time. With fewer demands, I sleep better now. Teeth grinding is a thing of the past.

I sound selfish. The things I am doing right now while I am home alone are still not really just for me, they are also for my family, but I am enjoying the peace and solitude with which I am able to accomplish these tasks.
 
As school was getting closer to starting I panicked. I feared I was going to be lost and without a purpose.
But a week into the school routine and Hurricane Girlchild in Kindergarten only in the mornings still does not allow me the luxury of more time than I can fill-trust me. But it does offer me a bit of peace. I think these mornings spent alone tripping over the cat and doing mundane things like laundry could be my reward for giving so much for all of those years.

This time alone is nothing to fear.