Saturday, February 23, 2013

Things I will not miss.

Once again I bow to the pressure of my peers and due to the demands of friends - Eleanor, I get to what I hope is the funny stuff. Rant alert.

The list of shit I will not miss about work.

Sinks full of dirty dishes. 
I have a bit of OCD when it comes to dirty dishes. I can't walk past a sink with a dirty dish in it and leave it. I was going to seek treatment but my loving spouse argued against it- this way the sink at home remains clean most of the time. It's really a win win for both of us.
I think it bothers me more at work because it's a shared space, and a beautiful one at that.
There are perfectly good dishwashing machines that can hold those dirty dishes and 'gasp' clean them. Because someone is too fucking lazy to bend over and open a door and place their filthy item inside we are all subjected to a sink full of cruddy, food encrusted mugs and glasses. It's all about mutual respect and being thoughtful toward others. Something that people with teenagers can relate to I'm sure.   
Your mom doesn't work here. She quit and went home to clean up after her own damn kids. I'll have nightmares about those sinks, and feel empathy toward those left behind with similar OCD that will take their turn filling the dishwashers. 

Computers.
It's a love hate relationship. We can't live without them, hell we even carry them around in our pockets. But when technology is pitting against you when you're on a deadline- and decides that it doesn't want to do what it's created to do and actually operate it's hard to not go all 'office space'  up in'ere and smash the piece of crap. If my work computer was human it would have had it's ass fired on year end.

Memos.
In my many years of experience in the workforce I have come to realise that memos are constant reminders that there are a lot of fuckwads out wandering around. Company wide memos about (my favourite) dirty dishes, parking lot issues and locker room etiquette tire me. If you're telling me something I didn't know- great- thanks for the memo! But if the idiot majority have to be reminded not to put gum under their desks-we have a serious problem. I feel for the poor folks who have to actually spend time during their day to draft these gentle reminders. As a member of the Health and Safety Committee at a former employer I actually had to make signs to post in the bathrooms to remind staff to wash their hands. For realzies. Be careful-they walk among us.        

I'll spare you further day to day tedious things that drive me mad at work. They are probably the exact  same things that drive you up the wall. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm removing myself from general population. For my own safety and the safety of others.

Now I can grumble silently at home about a sink full of filthy dishes, a piece of shit computer that doesn't work and constant reminders to my children not to put gum under their desks and wash their hands.   

oops- was my bitch showing?

 

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