Things I will not miss.

Once again I bow to the pressure of my peers and due to the demands of friends - Eleanor, I get to what I hope is the funny stuff. Rant alert.

The list of shit I will not miss about work.

Sinks full of dirty dishes. 
I have a bit of OCD when it comes to dirty dishes. I can't walk past a sink with a dirty dish in it and leave it. I was going to seek treatment but my loving spouse argued against it- this way the sink at home remains clean most of the time. It's really a win win for both of us.
I think it bothers me more at work because it's a shared space, and a beautiful one at that.
There are perfectly good dishwashing machines that can hold those dirty dishes and 'gasp' clean them. Because someone is too fucking lazy to bend over and open a door and place their filthy item inside we are all subjected to a sink full of cruddy, food encrusted mugs and glasses. It's all about mutual respect and being thoughtful toward others. Something that people with teenagers can relate to I'm sure.   
Your mom doesn't work here. She quit and went home to clean up after her own damn kids. I'll have nightmares about those sinks, and feel empathy toward those left behind with similar OCD that will take their turn filling the dishwashers. 

Computers.
It's a love hate relationship. We can't live without them, hell we even carry them around in our pockets. But when technology is pitting against you when you're on a deadline- and decides that it doesn't want to do what it's created to do and actually operate it's hard to not go all 'office space'  up in'ere and smash the piece of crap. If my work computer was human it would have had it's ass fired on year end.

Memos.
In my many years of experience in the workforce I have come to realise that memos are constant reminders that there are a lot of fuckwads out wandering around. Company wide memos about (my favourite) dirty dishes, parking lot issues and locker room etiquette tire me. If you're telling me something I didn't know- great- thanks for the memo! But if the idiot majority have to be reminded not to put gum under their desks-we have a serious problem. I feel for the poor folks who have to actually spend time during their day to draft these gentle reminders. As a member of the Health and Safety Committee at a former employer I actually had to make signs to post in the bathrooms to remind staff to wash their hands. For realzies. Be careful-they walk among us.        

I'll spare you further day to day tedious things that drive me mad at work. They are probably the exact  same things that drive you up the wall. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm removing myself from general population. For my own safety and the safety of others.

Now I can grumble silently at home about a sink full of filthy dishes, a piece of shit computer that doesn't work and constant reminders to my children not to put gum under their desks and wash their hands.   

oops- was my bitch showing?

 

So...I hear you're leaving us

So...I hear you're leaving us... a phrase I've heard a lot this past two weeks. 

I am actually quite flattered by how many times I've heard this said, and how many people have come by to wish me well as my days at work tick down. As an employee of only a few years I wasn't really prepared to discuss my decision to leave with as many people as I have, but as you can guess word travels fast within four walls. I apparently have made an impact. I honestly didn't think too many people would care.

My plan to leave quietly and disappear into the sunset was foolish. I must stand out because of my stellar work ethic and willingness to go the extra mile not to mention my being an incredible team player that works well with others but can still work independently. (That was for the benefit of future employers.)
It's more likely that I was one of the drunkest people at our Holiday party
THREE YEARS IN A ROW.
(If you were thinking of hiring me someday in the future forget you read that)

What strikes me most about all this discussion about leaving work is how many times I've heard other women say- I wish I could, I regret not, you're so lucky to be able to, the list goes on.

Are we trapped into thinking we have to work? Was all of the hard work done by our Mothers and Grandmothers during the Women's Rights Movement paving the way for us to want to achieve too much or was it for us to have the ability to choose our paths?

Is it a big deal to stay at home with your kids? Have I made a terrible decison and perhaps a huge mistake? .My biggest fear was telling my own mother about my choice. I was worried she would judge me a failure for not being able to 'have it all' and not being able to achieve the 'balance' that I found so elusive yet other women seem to have easily.

My mum constantly amazes me, so one evening over wine and an entire box of kleenex we reviewed  my plan, were we going to miss my income? Was I going to be OK at home-would I miss work?
and then those words came from her mouth.

I wish I could have, I regret not, you're lucky to be able to stay home for your family.   

So a week left of work and the long 'shit to do' lists are waiting for me at home. As I take on my new role and I'll surely find myself cursing some days - I'll have to remember all those voices reminding me how lucky I am.  

randomness by popular demand

So here I am writing. In part because friends felt I should so I guess you can say I give in easily to peer pressure, in part because I've always wanted to write.

I imagine writers holed up in seclusion, surrounded by beautiful views in remote cabins or castles. Reality is my cozy basement in the heart of the continent as the xbox 360 blares in my ear and my kids yell at each other as they argue over who gets the tv next.

My introduction to writing is likely the same as yours. High School English Teachers hitting home the importance of the basics learned in elementary school. Focus on the five W's and write about what you know. Well... without giving away my true age-I'll just say this. High School was a long time ago so expect poor grammar, sentence structure and frequent spelling mistakes. As far as writing about what I know-
I know shit.

So here's a nod to English teachers everywhere, the five W's used to explain this blog and the journey to get here. Allow me to introduce you to 'from the heart of the continent'.

WHO- me. wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc etc. 40 something and about to take a huge plunge.

WHAT- this blog. 'my writing' a promise to myself, which my girlfriends are making sure I keep and will relentlessly bug me to continue posting unless I become annoying. Or the interweb tires of my very foul mouth and shuts me down. I'll try and use restraint.  

WHERE- from the heart and from the heart of the continent- in my basement on an old piece of crap laptop that my kid picked all of the keys off of when she was 2. Seriously. All I have is a partial top row, all of the numbers less 7 and ZERO punctuation keys. I'll post pics.

WHEN- when my schedule will allow. This is my 'me time' that I've heard many other women talk about but that I have never really seen first hand. This is to be the elusive 'what do you do for yourself" time which I am drilled about by friends. Much like a Unicorn, just because I haven't seen one doesn't mean they don't exist. So slap a horn on this sucker and let it prance around.

WHY- I like to make people laugh. I like to talk, and I like being a mum. I want to write, and learn to be a good writer. I was convinced by good friends that I had something to share. I enjoy 'mommy bloggers' not the ones that write about how parenting is the most enlightening experience of their lives and they love their children who were born with halos more than the sun and listen to Mozart and home school. I like the real moms, moms who allow themselves to be human and don't live their lives off perfect ideas they found on Pinterest- although I've heard there's some good shit on there.

So I'll spare you the gushy I love my kids more than the sun stuff. That's a given. Going forward I'll share stuff that makes me laugh and the occasional kid story along with my voyage to SAHM-dom.
Crazy?  yep. I might be bat shit crazy but this seems like a great time to share all the nutty stuff that happens as I transition from working to working at home - as long as the batteries in my wireless keyboard hold up.
So here's to being a full time parent and home maker...and a writer.